Being married to someone I can get upset at so easily has taught me something
priceless -things aren't happening in the natural realm alone. It's all spirit.
When my husband curses, calls names, raises his voice, or slams doors
and cabinets, I've learned that these things are not the real war.
They are symptoms of something deeper, something unseen.
The Bible tells us clearly in Ephesians 6:12 (NKJV):
"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but
against principalities, against powers, against the
rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual
hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places."
When I first got married, it was easy to believe that every problem
was "him" and every hurt came from his words or actions. But as I've
grown in the Lord, I've learned to step back and see what's really happening.
My husband is just a man. He is not my enemy.
The enemy would love for me to get in the trap of reacting in the flesh - arguing
back, keeping score, or letting bitterness grow. But when I remember that the
true battle is spiritual, everything changes.
Choosing Patience Over Reaction
It's not that I've mastered patience overnight -it's that I've come to know
the Truth. And the Truth changes everything.
I have learned to breathe before I speak. To pause before I respond. To ask
the Holy Spirit for wisdom instead of letting my emotions take control.
Proverbs 15:1 (NKJV) reminds us:
"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a
harsh word stirs up anger."
When voices get loud and tempers rise, my flesh wants to match that
energy with my own volume. But the spirit in me calls me to answer
differently. Sometimes that means speaking gently; other times it means
saying nothing at all and taking the matter to God in prayer.
This isn't weakness - it's warfare. My silence in the right moment is not
ignoring the problem; it's choosing to fight in the Spirit instead of the flesh.
Seeing My Husband the Way God Sees Him
One of the greatest shifts in my heart came when I asked the Lord,
"How do you see my husband?"
Because in the heat of the moment, all I could see was his faults. But God
reminded me - my husband is His creation. He is loved by God. And when
I choose to look at him through the eyes of Christ, it softens my heart and
strengthens my prayers.
This doesn't mean I excuse wrong behavior or pretend it doesn't hurt. It
means I understand there's a root cause beyond what I can see. If the
root is spiritual, only God can change it.
So instead of just asking God to change my husband's action's, I pray
for his heart, his mind, and his spirit.
Refusing to Let the Enemy Win in My Home
The enemy knows that marriage is powerful.
Two becoming one is a threat to the kingdom of darkness.
That's why he works so hard to sow discord, misunderstandings
and resentment.
But I have decided: Not in my home.
James 4:7 (NKJV) says:
"Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you."
Every time I resist the urge to fight in the flesh, I am resisting the devil.
Every time I pray instead of react, I am shutting the door to the enemy's
schemes.
Sometimes my victory is quiet. It's me whispering a prayer under my breath
while walking away from an argument. It's me choosing to keep my peace because
the peace of Christ is more important than winning the debate.
Letting My Response Come From the Spirit
The truth is, the real test of spiritual maturity isn't how well I worship when everything
is going right - it's how I respond when I'm provoked.
Will I let my flesh rise up, or will I let the Spirit lead me?
Galatians 5:22-23 (NKJV) says:
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness,
goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, against such there
is no law."
In marriage, all of these fruits get tested. Love gets tested when my
husband says something harsh. Joy gets tested when the atmosphere
in the house gets tense. Peace gets tested when there's shouting in
the next room.
But here's the thing: fruit grows under pressure. Every time I choose
the Spirit's way instead of my flesh's way. I'm letting those fruits ripen.
The Truth That Keeps Me Grounded
Here's the truth I hold onto: my husband is not my opponent;
the enemy is. My husband's flaws are not a reflection of my worth
or my Father's goodness - they're a reminder that every human being
needs grace.
This doesn't mean I never address problems. It doesn't mean I let things
slide forever. But it does mean that before I deal with the situation in the
natural. I deal with the situation in the Spirit.
I pray over my husband.
I pray over our marriage.
I pray over our home.
And I stand on the promises of Isaiah 54:17 (NKJV)
"No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every
tongue which rises against you in judgement you shall condemn.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness
is from Me," says the Lord.
Practical Ways I Fight Spiritually in Marriage
If you're in a similar situation, here are some practical ways to keep
your heart anchored in the Spirit:
1. Pause Before Responding - Even a few seconds of prayer
before you speak can change the entire tone of the conversation.
2. Pray Over Your Spouse Daily - Call their name before the Lord,
even when you're upset with them.
3. Keep Worship in Your Home - Play worship music or read scripture aloud; it
shifts the atmosphere.
4. Speak Life - Don't let curses or harsh words be the only thing spoken. Speak
blessings over your marriage and your spouse.
5. Fast for Breakthrough - Sometimes the battle is deeper than what daily prayer
can touch; fasting invites God's power into the fight.
Closing Prayer
Lord Jesus, thank You for opening my eyes to the truth that my battles are not
with flesh and blood. Thank You for giving me patience, wisdom, and the fruits
of the Spirit to walk in love even when it's not easy. Teach me to see my husband
through Your eyes. Strengthen our marriage so that it glorifies You Lord. And
let no weapon formed against our home prosper.
In Jesus' Mighty Power Glorious Name,
Glory
